Friday, June 18, 2010

Break Down

1-I need to write.
2-I need a hug
3. The word 'need' is reserved for dire situations in my vocab.
Here's the scoop:
I woke up to another day, followed routine and was ready to go, on time. I turned the key in the ignition and this song was playing:

I started crying. The weight of the world, my constant motion came crashing down. As I said, it was a normal day-wake up to lists, weighing decisions, and I couldn't handle it. The sound of Jack's voice, that soft melody-Oh! sweet sympathy. I'm not alone. I'm lucky. Lucky to be alive, have food on my table, and have decisions. I'm just worried. Worried to leave this place. In one instance I'm a hop, skip, jump away and in the other scenario, well, it's a jet set.

I'm overwhelmed, but the end is near. I have a few months, the earth willing, I'll be settled in another locale (hopefully with a roof over my head). I'm always focused on the details but the end is drawing near that I'm also trying to chew the bigger picture-swallow the consequences and in the words of NIKE, 'just do it.' It became evident this morning that sometimes I just need a breakdown- a mild brush of reality. Shed that weathered skin. I'm fine now. Except for the fact that I can't stop using the word, 'I.' Well, that's about it, I needed a little binge. Emotions are out in the open and the best is yet to come. Here's to a wonderful weekend!

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