Humility

Hi! I'd like to scream, "I'm BACK!" but I can't make any promises. Sorry. I'm still toiling away in my studio, I've changed jobs and I feel much more at home. It seems strange that work can make me feel at ease but it does. It feels safe, I have a plan B (which I refuse to accept). Whether I like it or not, I know it helps me sleep at night.

Today was an odd day. I met with visiting artist, Ruth Miller (what a lovely woman!) and she really got me thinking. We looked at my work and had a nice chat in my studio. While I was waiting to meet with her my painting professor came in to take a look at my work. He told me I should keep a journal. Write things down, nothing fancy. I told him I had a blog where I used to do a lot of journaling but he suggested something more private. I told him only special people have the URL. HA! He laughed. After Ruth and I visited a bit, she proceeded to tell me I need to keep a diary. Maybe it's just something all artist do but I took it as a sign- I need to pick it up, AGAIN. Write. Write for the sake of sanity.

Today after my meeting/critique I had class. I'm sure it was just me, but, people seemed off and edgy. Perhaps I was radiating a negative aura but I just felt like everyone was trying to pick a fight. I started getting paranoid. What have I done? And then, just a downward spiral. I had to break free. I cut and ran, went home, walked Zola and watched the sun set on the city. I had to breath. My first panic attack? Maybe. I think the closer it gets to the end (of the semester) the tighter wound everyone becomes. I guess eventually we'll either kill each other or we'll break down and drink ourselves in a celebratory stupor! I'll take the latter. . .NOW.

Anyway, I ramble. I need to read, relax and then write. Last weekend I decided to make an impulsive trip to Norman and I must leave you with a few Halloween photos.LOOK OUT! It's a Golden Hurricane!Detail: Even heavy machinery doesn't stand a chance. . .

Once things calm down (will they) I'll try to post some work and talk a bit about what I've been up to. Right now I'm so scatterbrained that I don't even know what track I'm on. As the end nears I'm hoping to sit down, look at what I've done (or haven't done) and diagnose/remedy. Check back, in, well, awhile. . .

Austere

Month or so into grad school and still little structure/routine in my life. I've learned to cope. It's getting better, summer has waned but I'm still extremely scatter brained. Ideas are everywhere, seems I can't get it out before another one spawns. Can't complain, but, I could use some organization system. I suppose to I could get back into the habit of filling my sketchbook. Shamefully, it's been awhile since I've crack it. I guess I've discounted it's value. which as cost me a lot. Instead of using the space in the sketchbook I just jump right into the real deal. In conclusion, I cut corners and it usually affects the magnitude of the work. It's similar to a carpenter measuring only once. The difference? I can 'cut twice' with the dip of some gesso and the slide of a brush I can start anew. But, I lack efficiency and my practical side cringes. At any rate, I'm currently taking a break from a long day in the studio. Sitting outside the McFarlin Library and basking in the sun, this is what I'm listening to, seeking inspiration, and perhaps daydreaming a bit:

The Joy Formidable - Austere from TJF Fan on Vimeo.

Hopefully I'll post some new work sooner than later. Right now my camera is out of reach and I have yet to charge the batteries. If you're really interested swing by the studio, bring some coffee. . .

Sweet September

September is here! Time flies even when you tuck in late and rise early. I don't wish for eternal life, just longer days. I've just started settling in my studio. Last night I was up there working, it's motivating. I can't wait to fill the walls with paintings and prints. I have also started to pick up a routine. After days and several emails, I was finally able to meet with my painting professor. He gave me some beginning assignments, the pressure is on:
1 painting about light
1 painting about space
1 painting about color
1 painting about surface/picture plane
1 painting about form-forms in the painting and the painting as a form1 panting about textural mark
1 painting with pigmented mark (variations on pointillist mark)
1 study pre 20th century artist (Titian, El Greco, Courbet, Chardin, Velasquez, Rembrandt, etc)
1 study post 20th cebnt. artist (Cezanne, Matisse, Southine, Bonnard, Diebenkorn etc.)
1 self-portrait
1 tell a story with paint/pigment
1 make a painting that is descriptive1 make a painting that is dynamic or aggressive
1 make a a painting that is passive
1 make a painting utilizing a grid

The time line? "About 2 weeks" WOW! really? I feel like I'm a week behind but it does feel good to have some structure.

Well, game on, off to paint. I'll keep you posted on my endeavors.

Home

Well, we're about to kiss August goodbye and I've just started to settle in to my new place. Zola and I rose early and headed over to the farmers market. Second Saturday was a hit. We arrived a little later than last weekend and caught some live music. It was just right outside. The sun was rising and there was a cool breeze. It seems summer is also packing it's things and preparing to hit the road for awhile.

I've concluded the first week of graduate school, so far, so good. I'm still in the dark about several things but the path feels right. I have my own studio on campus which will serve as a second bedroom/home-away-from home. I'm ready to get my hands dirty!

I also completed a week of work over at the museum. It's a retail job, and part time so it has also been an adjustment. I've found the best remedy is keeping a book within arm's reach. Between work and school, I'm about to lose 'personal time' which means this blog my dwindle to a few post a month. I would like to redirect the post to my graduate work. The process, my thoughts and their derivation along with contemporary studies. It's crucial to delve into the scene and I plan to use this blog as an outlet. Stay tuned for some originals. The studio is primed and ready. In the meantime, some 'iPhone shots' from the beginning of my Tulsa Time:The birth of Zola. Lazy days with the pooch. A snippet from one of Tulsa's many bike trails. Right now I am without a cycle and I feel disconnected. I tried to buy a trunk mounted rack to haul my bike but I wasn't satisfied. I should have planned better. I am now waiting, impatiently, for someone to deliver my bike to me. It's excruciating. The weather is exceptional and I'm missing out! Naked ladies everywhere! A piece from TU. A final note-words of wisdom.

OKIE STUDIOS

Hi! It's been too long. Apologies. Things have been/are hectic. Last night I spent my first night in Tulsa. It's still a bit surreal. I feel like an outsider looking in, starry eyed. Today was graduate student orientation and my first day back to work. I quit my last job August 6th and since then it's been ridiculous. I'm not sure when summer officially ends but I'm called it last weekend. Last weekend was my send off. Four consecutive days dancin', drinkin' and merrimakin' takes it's toll in more ways than one. I'm ready to buckle down. Summer 2010 has been the best. Seriously. Lots of cupcakes. My best friends in Norman at the same time! Sunday nights swingin' to Hosty. Good debates with the guys from OU Law. Summer flings! Fireworks! Professional Photoshoots! My last evening in Norman, I had a photo shoot with Bill Richards of Okie Studios. He is one of the terrific bartenders from the Deli and he just shines through the camera! He is super professional and I was thrilled to work with him! I don't usually enjoy being photograph. In fact, I didn't even have professional senior photos made. Luckily, I have a completely different attitude than the one that hung over me back then. This shoot was delightful. Bill is an amazing artist. His attention to detail and concept development is top notch. He is a whiz with the computer! This was our final take. When I asked him if I needed to bring anything he replied, "bring a smile and anything that screams 'you'" What is more fitting that an chainsaw? "Little Red, Riding Bill!" Out for blood!

Did this really happen? How can I top it? How about with intensive graduate work? Believe it or not, I'm a bit homesick. I miss my house a bit. My yard. I need to mow, or do I? I miss my bike (it should be here soon and I can't wait to hit the trails). I miss the Deli and I'm going to miss my crew. Time to establish a new one!

Zola and I took a stroll through Maple Park this evening. It's blocks away from my digs and it was at this moment: the sun setting on the Tulsa Skyline (just over the park) with my best buddy, that I knew this was home. I can't wait to start classes Monday. I have lots to do to the apartment. Look forward to photos. I am quite scatterbrained these days (as you can probably tell) so don't hold your breath but it will happen. . .eventually. Since I'm not sitting at a desk eight hours a day (day in-day out) I find little time to blog. I'm hoping that once I establish a routine here in the 918, I'll be better at posting. I look forward to my latest endeavors and I can't wait to share them with you! Farmer's market this weekend (it's walking distance!) and garage sailing. Join me if you're in the neighborhood! Toodles!

My Best

It's August! I can't believe it. So much to do and it's already the 4th! My days in Norman are numbered and I've already got work lined up in Tulsa. I start a part time gig up at the Gilcrease August 19. I can't wait to jump, head first, into the art program but I'm still a but worried about finances. The last few days have been blurry. Since last weekend, I feel as though I'm viewing myself from above. I can't coordinate my body with my mind and it's been fairly rough getting things done. Last weekend was full of activities and drama. Perhaps, that's why I'm feeling odd. I'm trying to repair. Luckily, my three best friends were in tow. I wish they were around more often but as we've grown up, we all have busy schedules and endless responsibilities. We also live in different cities which makes it tough.JME. Carmen. Me. KC

We spent Saturday afternoon/evening together and it was just like old times. I wish they could have hung around longer, it was an emotional and fulfilling weekend but I could use them this week/month. Good friends are hard to find and I'm lucky to have held on to these throughout the years. Many more to come. Love you girls!

Across the Pond

I wish I were across the pond at this moment, this weekend. I need a break in culture. I have lots of family in from out of town and it's going to be a busy weekend. We've all docked here in Norman to witness my brother take his vows and buckle his shackles. Bottoms up!

While we're on the subject of bottles, I created this design for an t-shirt contest. Check out the details here. I had several ideas but this is the one that came to life digitally. It would be nice to have my work printed and marketed but I just like opportunities to design and fool around with CS4.

It's going to be a busy weekend. I'll be out of pocket most of August. Moving, adjusting and playing. Consider my absense a sign of living. I'll be posting sporadically but if you're really interested and it's convienent, meet me face to face. I'm planing to submerge myself in art. A life of Asceticism. While I may not physically be 'across the pond' I'll be way beyond that in my studies for the next three years. With one more week of work, things are starting to sting with reality. I'd like to see you and yours, this weekend?

Amish Friendship Bread

Ten days ago I was sitting at my desk, starving, wishing I had grabbed that banana from the fruit basket. Low and behold, one of my coworkers came in with a hearty, loaf of Amish Friendship bread. Much to my surprise, there was a catch. In order to partake, I had to agree to take the 'starter bag' and follow the prescribed instructions. Yesterday marked the baking day. If you haven't heard or tasted Amish Friendship bread, I highly suggest seeking out an avenue for a starter bag. Rumor has it, only the Amish know how to create a starter bag but I'm sure if you really want to crash the party you could just google it (damn technology). It's a yeast bread so there's a process and division to keep the cycle churning and cranking out loaves. I like to think the yeast in my bread was created from yeast that has traveled many years and through exotic destinations. So romantic. This morning, I hit the unfortunate 'bagels for the office' day so the bread was left untouched. I decided to cut pieces and take it to the various offices around the Law School. Everyone took it without hesitation and responded positively. Smiles and friendship, I felt I had done the bread and the Amish right. Success!

Wisdom

Did you know the owl symbolizes wisdom and prosperity (at least in some cultures)? I wasn't aware of this until I began my work at the Law School. The Owl adorns the Law School seal and is a well known icon around these parts. Earlier this month, I was approached by our wonderful recruiter asking for a commission before my resignation. I obliged and tried to take the 'green approach' by pedaling some of my stock but she requested a new piece. Specifically, an owl. I love birds! And, I was excited to get the work. This is quite a bit different than most of the pieces that fill her office but hopefully she can appreciate it. She's out this week so I left it as surprise on her desk. It's a custom piece! She didn't include a price range so I decided to keep the piece small and on the light side of labor, just in case. Better safe than sorry? I already have a studio full of labor intensive/expensive pieces that I just can't pawn off. I've learned that scale is essential during hard times.

The piece includes paint, hand embroidery and an image transfer on some drapery material. Fingers crossed that I've struck (real) gold. This piece is 4x6". If you're interested in something similar or would like to commission a piece drop me a line!

Three Clicks

Click your heels three times and you're home. I've been thinking a lot about 'home.' I wish I didn't have to leave my home/house. I've spent years collecting pieces and making it a place screams, 'Bill.' Now I'm uprooting. I wish I could take it with me. Precisely, "IT." What makes a house a home? The age old question, just like "How many licks. . ." Anyway, I ramble. But, really, I'm anxious. I can't sit still. I have been riding quite a bit and I've discovered one of my favorite streets in Norman. McNamee Street- beautiful towering trees with specks of diamonds strewn across the street. It's like something out of a movie. Miles from my house, it isn't exactly my neighborhood, but every time I pedal down it I hear birds chirp, laughter and everything that sings 'perfection.' I feel at home. I could stay forever. The houses are compromised of remodeled craftsman and well kept dollhouses. They are adorable. McNamee is something you'd find in a storybook. The best part is, it's very maintained and vintage but lacks that "snobby, yuppie tarnish." McNamee made me realize that it is possible to encounter 'home away from home.' Let's just hope there's a piece for me up in Tulsa. I decided that I'd try to sketch as many of the houses down McNamee and send them to the addresses. Maybe a little bit creepy but more a gesture of my gratitude and admiration for the integrity of history. There's a real feel of community down that stretch of street between flood and berry and I want to document it, give it back. Here's to home!

THAT Girl

No one wants to be 'THAT girl,' but occasionally, we just have to learn to cope. For me, it's self inflicted. I bought and iPhone. Right before bouncing into graduate school, having next-to-nothing to live on and I go and follow the herd. The phone has it's conveniences but the first thing I did is switch off every extra. There's just something about being over connected. I don't like it. I want to look at people in the face. I don't like side text conversations and I don't like to think some "app" is more fun than me! Really? YES! Look at me when I'm speaking, I do the same for you! Anyway, I rant. But, I did have some fun stenciling the case. It's not the most practical thing considering mere minutes after the paint job it was chipping. I touched it up and coated it with an acrylic varnish. That did the trick. I would really like to have on of these fancies. A parting/welcome gift as I jump into my new life? Maybe. I'd settle for something a little more valuable with a creative touch. Think about it. We could trade. Now, back to your iPhone. Just remember that your friends are better than a data plan anyday!

Norman Nostalgia

Blue skies equates into bike rides and tanlines. I've been to the edge of Norman and back. This week, I bring you to the Southwest corner. Here, we have totem poles. This pole has been there a few years but they slapped it with a new coat of paint this month. It really stands out. I liked it better before. I see it everyday in passing and the weathered wood made it difficult to translate. It was enticing. Now, all the details are out in the open. Not much left to desire. I still really dig it. I've been thinking a lot about totem poles. I presume they will inch their way into my intense graduate studies.On the flip side of bold and direct, I bring you mundane. I rode past the chain link at the opportune time. The sun was hitting it just right and casting the most delicate lacy pattern. I wished I had some stencil plastic with me at that moment. It's things like this that make my day. I realized that I can't take it with me, it lives in the moment. A photo can't even do it justice. So why are you reading? Go outside, seize the moment! (Graduation speech-done!). Have a wAnderfull weekend!

Burger Night

Wednesday is 'burger night' and has been since March. I don't eat a lot of meat. In fact, only once a week, reserved for McNellie's burgers. McNellies is a local pub that began in Tulsa. There's also one in OKC and Norman joined the band wagon earlier this year. Lucky. They have a huge beer selection including a numerous draught line up. The atmosphere is great and you can't beat a $3.00 burger. We aren't talking your run-of-the-mill, fast food burger. It's juicy served up with lots of veggies and pub fries (I suggest the sweet potato fries, a baragin fifty cent upgrade (well worth it)). The bar is always packed on Wednesdays. Happy hour! A little tip, if you get there around/before 6 chances are you won't have to battle this crowd. This was the scene as we were leaving (full and happy).Each week friends gather and we wait in line for that delectable burger. There are the 'burger regulars' and each week a larger crowd. Cheers to local business and burgers! See you on burger night, all hail in the name of beef!

Norman Nostalgia

Weeks away from relocating, I've decided to start a new project. I love Norman. I can't wait to get home and hop on my bike. I want to capture all those corner and crevices from my bike travels. I want to take them with me to Tulsa. I also want you to see what lurks in those 'dark alleys.' Be prepared to see things from my bike treks, my walks with Zola and my bar rendezvous. I'm going to collect these tidbits and wear them like charms. I can't wait to burn the streets of Tulsa but for now, be prepared to view Norman in the nude. I shall call these post, "Norman Nostalgia" Let the games begin! A 1912 miniature version of OU Campus over on Jones (near the train depot). I chose this street because it depicts my campus corner hangouts.Neato!Little effort-high impact. Sweet! I don't think I've ever expressed my love of the Chinook. It's presence is massive even thousands of feet in the sky. It's a real head turner. I was relaxing over at Lyon's park, reading my book, mindin' my business when I was interrupted by this beast. I sat up and noticed everyone else in the park had paused to sneer at that big ol' bird. Impressive. What a day in Norman town!

Changing Face

Voila! Bill The Girl has been transformed. From 'Lock and Key' to 'Studio 201.' So, what's the relevance? Well, I got an email last week stating that I have a studio awaiting my presence at The University of Tulsa! Studio 201! How exciting! Given that I'm living in a tiny ass apartment, it will be nice to have some storage for my supplies. I haven't seen it but I can hardly stand still. I was inspired. It's time to start a new chapter and this ol' blog needed a face lift! Same 'ol stuff, my ramblings, projects and food! Looking forward to 201 in the 918! X0X0

New Digs

Howdy! It's been awhile. A lot has happened and it's only going to be a landslide from here on out. Last weekend I claimed my home-front in Tulsa. I now have a place to stay. Today I signed my life away and indebted myself, joyfully (optimism is the only medicine I take). In a few short weeks I'm going to be a graduate student pursuing yet another impractical degree. Like I've always said, I love a challenge! So, without further ado, check out my new hidey hole: This is the layout. It's above a garage behind a rather large house in Midtown, Tulsa. It's more like an efficiency than a 1 bedroom. I looked at several one bedrooms within various apartment complexes around Tulsa and they were comparable in price. Here, I sacrifice a living area and off street parking, but, I gain a yard and incredible neighbors. I basically have my own, stand alone, house, which is much nicer than a complex. I weighed the pros and cons and decided I would sacrifice 'stuff' for a lifestyle and location. I'll be walking distance to the Cherry Street Farmer's market (only to cry over a life of poverty) and biking distance to the river! I can't wait. Now, for the scary part: This is where it gets a little iffy. The paint choices in this place are hideous. I know it may look a little dank, but it has real potential. It's cozy,not to fear! He said I could paint! My landlord is also giving me a free 1/2 month to get moved. Good deal. The kitchen is tiny and also dingy. I assume this entire place was painted with bargain cans. Notice the W/D in the kitchen? This was also a huge selling point, along with Central H/A. Next drawback-carpet. Even worse-pink! I despise carpet. It's nasty but, again, I had to weigh my options and the location sold me. I've decided that I'm going to cover it with rugs. I'm on the prowl for Oriental rugs. Hit me up if you spot one at a garage sale or hanging out of a trash can. This space will most likely be the nook for my bed. I haven't quite decided on the layout which is why I'm posting. Help ME! This is the area off of the kitchen. I was thinking it may work as a living/studio area but the closet is on one of these walls, so that's limiting.

I made the drawing above so you may get an idea of the layout. I plan on doing some digital mock ups including furniture very soon but I thought I'd throw this out here and see if I have any interior design buffs lurking in the darkness. I'm going from a three bedroom house to this little den. It's going to be tough but I've been doing my homework. Seems there are lots of tricks to efficiency living. Right now, I can use all the help I can get so let's here it!

Set in Stone.

It's time to shout it from the rooftops! I have officially claimed the 918 as my new area code. Tulsa here I come (for real)! I had another opportunity arise in New York. A paid gig, in textile design. I'm crazy to decline, I know, but the details weren't adding up. I was assured it would be there waiting for me when I'm ready. It's nice to have a back-up-plan (even if it's slim).

Tomorrow I'm headed up to sign a lease for an apartment and officially shake the hand of my new home. It's exciting and scary. I'm stressed but I'll feel relieved once I know I have a place to hang my hat. Now, the next hurdle, wrapping up all my messes in this county. Whirlwind! It's going to be a busy weekend. Maybe I'll start packing? Only if the sun isn't shining will you find me in the house! Decisions done. Time to celebrate! Cheers and a happy weekend!

Salvaged Salvage

It's been a hot summer here in Oklahoma. I love it. As you may know, I can't get enough. I come home, throw my 'stuff' down and head back out the door. Whether it be on my bike or walking the dog I can't stand to sit indoors. My pooch, Zola, adores the attention and can hardly stand still when she hears the jingle of the leash. She's very much a creature of habit. I give her lead and she sniffs out the same spots every time. It's like clock work. Every walk for as long as I can remember,we've passed this heavily altered piece of metal on the side of the road. I gaze at it every time and wonder how many times it has been ran over, what was it? Spam? Tuna? It's a bit disturbing how much I've contemplated the history of this piece of trash. Well, yesterday I had a few hours to spare so I picked it up. A little up the trail, I came across a safety top that read "Cut this out." It was glistening in the evening sun. Shiny. I took the pieces home, scrubbed them a bit and decided they were stencil worthy. Again, I'm completely inhibited when I use discarded items. It's invigorating. Nothing to loose! I feel like this attitude fits the subject matter. Do you feel lucky? Punk?

Perhaps you better, "Cut This Out?" It's up for sale. 5x7" Hit me up if you're interested.

Down Size

Slowly and surely I'm cutting ties. I'm attempting to purge the unnecessary and live simple. One thing that has come surprisingly easy is the ability to go from a large carry all to a teeny satchel. I dig carrying my wallet, keys and phone. Who needs Neosporin , hairbrushes, chewed gum and receipts from last years trip to Timbuktu slung over their shoulder day in and day out? Not me. Spare me the baggage. I want to dance. I want to take off running like the wind if need be and that requires a 'brick free' bag. I went from a clutch to an over the shoulder because it's more comfortable.We mustn't forget fashion. I'm pretty excited about the outcome. This little number was created from scrap leather and trinkets pulled from the depths of my jewelry box. It comes equipped with a loop in the back making it capable of clipping onto a belt. Fancy Fanny! It's my medicine bag, I can't wait to give it a run this weekend. Weekend? It's nearly here! Happy stitcher!

To Eat

I love food. I love to eat. There was a day when I wasn't so particular but back in the summer of 2009 my life took a turn. I decided to realign my priorities, goals and lifestyle. It was at this point that my palate became open to anything. I went from a fast food, minus-this, minus-that meat and potatoes gal to only eating meat once a week. I can't get enough fresh produce. The colors and texture of vegetables are just appetizing. It's like experiencing art in a completely new way! As we are bombarded by shitty, fried, homogenized, drive through food, we lose site of the possibilities and creativity involved in food prep. It's an art! Don't forget it. Break free from what you know. What's the worst that could happen? I contribute my bad eating habits to my family. My mom taught me how to eat and I followed suit. I took the easy road-no fun.

I've realized that it's better to order things as they are served. There's a reason the dish combines certain ingredients and I find it best to try it as suggested. It's the same concept as trying the fries before you salt them. Eating a tomato atop a hamburger is worlds apart from biting into one like an apple. Cooked onions take on a much milder flavor and varied texture from raw. Right? So do you really HATE onions? Have you tried them minced in salsa? I bet you've eaten them at one point or another without notice and probably without a wince. I'll never get through to some of you and I'm sorry. Just know that diversity is the spice of life. Long lived the Omnivore!

One of the issues I have with eating is that I refuse to eat slop. I would not take a knife to my heart and I'm certainly not going to feed it a Mc'D big mac. I'm overwhelmed with list for the move but one of the things that's been weighing heavily on my mind is my commitment to a life of poverty. I'm going back to being a poor student with a part time job and exorbitant rent. It's going to be tough. No more good coffee. No more whole foods market. I have to learn to eat healthy on a strict budget. Food will no longer be for pleasure, it will be for sustenance and calories.

I'm currently able to purchase most of my food from local market and the OK coop. I'm eating local about 80% of the time and I feel great. I love supporting those local, hardworking farmers and their products are far above what comes out of a box store. Take this meal for example:Whole wheat stone ground tortilla from Briarberry Farm. Filled with Black and red pepper cheddar from Christan Cheese. Tomatoes from my garden, and store bought onions/lettuce/cilantro. As a side, pilaf from Earth Elements. So delicious! I'm going to miss eating like a local goddess. Damnit! But, I do live for a challenge. I'm also going to miss my occasional rendezvous with the sushi bar. I do love sushi. This vegetable roll was lovely! Oh Wasabi, you bring tears to my eyes!

I have been doing some research and reading on eating healthy on a budget. It's doable. Check out Alex's rundown on foods that won't dent your pocketbook. Smart lady! Again, I will miss the luxury but art is worth every sacrifice! If you're around Tulsa in the fall, bring me some local goodies, or take me out to eat, I'm sure I will need all the help I can get!

Clubbin'

Moving is on the brain. It's consuming my thoughts, my blog, my very breath. I apologize for pouring my stress here but it's just an outlet with no strings, feels good. Remember, self responsibility, you choose to read (my disclaimer). Anyway, aside from all the financial hooks, commitments, sacrifices etc. etc. I escape to my studio. Lately I've been sewing and embroidering. I should be packing but I'm just not ready. I have sifted through my closet and tossed heaps of clothes in the 'giveaway' pile. Slowly I pull them out, cut them up and transform them into something new. I get bored and there is no pressure when materials come from the trash. My cousin gave me a huge bag of clothes that she was about to thrift and I've been playing with them. Most of her stuff is a bit to 'formal' for me. Take this dress for instance: Fuchsia and satin, doesn't scream 'Bill the Girl.' I thought maybe if i added some western style embroidery it would tone it down. I spent hours stitching the pattern and when I finished I couldn't wait to flaunt my masterpiece. Well, seconds after slippin' in, I knew it would be the last time. Too short! No way I can get away with no underwear and I certainly wouldn't think about moving off the bar stool that would reveal to much. It's up for sale. Take it or leave but this will be the first and last time you see me in something so, well, 'clubby.' Feel blessed, or appalled.

Green Gals

Weeks away from a life void of yardwork. We're both going to miss it!

Sold

First a shout to my pals, Chandra and Vince! They put me up a couple of days in Tulsa and we had a grand ol' time! I hadn't really intended on taking off but my boss suggested I do it last week due to some scheduling issues for the next two weeks. We're spread thin here until early August. It was last week or none. I obliged and it couldn't have come closer to perfection.

If you're a reader then you know I've been dancin' my ass off at the smelly, hole-in-the-wall bar near campus. I can't help it. My excuse is, 'I'm trying to soak up as much Norman as I can before I hit the highway.' I'm sure you've also heard me mention Mike Hosty. He IS the best show in Norman. If you haven't seen him, do it! Well, moving poses a problem, I will demote my status as 'Hosty regular' to 'casual guest.' It's a bit sad BUT, low and behold, the stars aligned and I was able to catch him up in Tulsa last Friday. I had heard that he actively plays in T-town but how lucky? I figured it was make or break situation on the move, I had high expectations. Chandra, Vince and I hit up McNellie's and did a shake (or two). I was ecstatic to see other crazy people singing along. He rocked the house and while it wasn't The Deli, it held its own. Hosty in Tulsa- all is right with the world.

To the Wire

Morning! It's Monday. I woke up late but still managed to make it to work on time. Not to shabby? Hopefully I can keep the luck. As usual, it was a busy weekend. I took of last Thursday and Friday to go house hunting in my new city. It was a short week and a much needed retreat. Today I'm exhausted but I feel much better about the move. I have several leads on living quarters and I can rest assured that I won't be on the streets. What I AM unaware of is if I'll be moving to Tulsa or not. "Wha?" Well, I've had yet another opportunity arise and it's tugging at me fairly hard. I have a lot to consider, I have still feel like I have a lot of loose ends here (even if I decide on Tulsa), and this opportunity complicates my current plan. It's not close. Out of state. Far. Physically and culturally. It's exciting but also extremely scary. I've been so stressed. I try to draw it away but my doodles turn into list and charts outlining pro/cons. UGH! I miss Tulsa this morning. So many unturned pages and alleys!

I wish I could grab a good cup o' coffee and watch the world slip by. Apparently those activities are reserved for the weekend. It's Monday (I said it again), reality is bright and I forgot my sunglasses. When I look forward at the next few weeks I cringe and my heart races, I'm feeling anxious(what's new). I need to bike, breath, soak up some sun but most of all I need to get my shit together. I feel like I'm being pushed closer and closer toward the cliff. Throw me a line? Toss a coin for me? I'm trying to be positive and I try to linger in the midst of positive people. It helps. Smile. Who knows where I'll be in a month, give me a ring if you're on board for some last minute lovin'.

Birthday Wishes

Birthdays. Something that seems to lose magic over time. It's a shame. The older I get, the better I look, the better I feel and my head grows, I'm sure. I suppose there will come a time when I can't stop the clock and I'll begin to dwell on all that comes with age? Does it have to be limiting? Can one turn those aches and pains into something positive? Can gray hair look good? I don't know. Right now it feels so far ahead that I'm not concerned. Right now, I want to scream it from the rooftops "I'm 24!" I can dance ALL night! I wear as few clothes as legally possible and I love life! I wasn't always this way. Just recently I realized, 'life is worth living.' I try to make the most of it. Stray from the big picture as much as possible, notice the unnoticed and pay attention to everyone, make them feel like they're my favorite.

I've decided that relationships are the most important "things" in my life.Don't get me wrong, I love being alone. Most of the time when I have 'tag alongs' I end up having to cut out early, or change my intended plan. It's good measure, to be flexible, learn to compromise. Afterall, I can't control EVERY situation. Nor do I want to. Again and again, balance. I ramble, I deviate. Point is, I try to fit in as much as possible every day. I get lots of invites to soirees of all magnitudes. Some from people I know and some from mere 'acquaintances.' Both are very important in the scheme of life.

I have a handful of people in this world that I would drop anything/everything if they needed a hand or an ear. A notch below that, the handful turns into a bus load and so on. I value both and can't discount my acquaintances but I still have priorities. I've learned that even if you can't make every event there are always things you can do to ensure that your friends/ your acquaintances/ your friends-friends, keep you on the 'invite' list (even when you have to bail). First and foremost, be upfront. Tell them you want to go but you can't. NO 'maybes.' Next, do what you can to reassure them of their status. I recently got invited to a birthday party via facebook. The description was brilliant and the group is fun but I just couldn't make it:
"Yes Kolbe is having a birthday. It is a come and go thing, meeting at HILO then where ever. No need for presents, but if you must. you can dress as a bear. Actually now if you want to make me smile you must dress as a bear or bring one with you. LOL Anyways, its the middle of the week what a better way to get over hump day!!! " I was inspired by this request so I drew him a picture: I spared some time, added a notch in my portfolio and let him know that I'm thinking about him. All is right with the world. It's a long and somewhat contradictory post but don't think to much about it. It's fairly simple: just remember YOUR people and love them.

To Bake

or not to bake? Always the question. I try to bake once a week just to stay in practice and also as a gesture of kindness to the guys at work. The recipes I choose usually have a 'healthy spin' with the exception of this evening. I pulled out all the stops. Full fledge, scrumptious 'home cooked' butter-better muffins. The batter was full of processed flour and sugar and it's the prettiest batter I've ever whipped up. Those evil temptresses. Of course, I couldn't follow the recipe 'Cherry coffee cake muffins' I had blueberries so I ran with it. I held the fruit on a few, as one of the guys isn't a fan. Boy, they're going to miss me! I also halved the sugar for the topping and used brown for the other half. They aren't the prettiest dears but I guarantee you they're tasty.

These were also made as mini celebration. Tomorrow is a Friday for me. YAY! Given the stress that's weighing over this move, the guys suggested I take a few days off. Do a little house hunting in T-town. I'm not sure if being told to take time off is good or bad, I think they're sincere? Hope.

I didn't flinch. I plan on heading out early Thursday morning. I'll swing by my old pit stop, grab some coffee (best I've had). Check out craigslist and make my way through Tulsa. I'm hoping to haul my bike, given that my buddies rack fits my car, so I can cruise the neighborhoods in the flesh. Fingers crossed these muffins are a hit and I come home with a second home! To Friday!