Wednesday, December 2, 2009


I'm just going to jump right in. This post may be the first one that's made me pause to reconsider. Instead of following my intuition I snub my nose and press on. I haven't even been drinking but sometimes excess thought and time alone consumes my better judgment.

I have a muse. I've mentioned him to many, in vague mumbles. Sometimes I question his existence. He remains on his pedestal. A man that inspires me, inspires me in many ways. I'm often astonished at my naivety but then I realize how much this idea I have chalked up in my head keeps me going. Going in a strangely positive manner (which is quite opposite of my pessimistic nature). I've thought a lot about how to banish this awkward infatuation but then I realize it's not all that unhealthy when compared to religion. Although, I would burn at the stake for worshiping some 'false idol.' So to boost that ego and inflate that head a little more I have some images.

These are some I've done this week. I'm attempting to draw it away. The hold, the heart ache, the good and the bad, and the lose I feel over something so superficial. The "names" have been censored to protect the aforementioned. You are about to view the most vulnerable pieces in my sketchbook. Feel honored, enjoy, laugh (b/c they're pretty funny) and give me a hug next time you see me. I need it!
I've been trying to purge a lot lately. It's been awhile, I go through phases. Periods when I just want to change everything; All my surroundings, my thoughts, and clutter. Lately I've been trying to purge my muse. I feel like I shouldn't need someone or an idea of someone to keep me going. I've reached a point where I can stand stable, alone, and content. I want my work to focus on MY experiences (void of some invisible man). I feel I've paid homage to all the facets that helped me make the right choices to get on the right track, now it's time to do a 180. I need to steam forward. On that note, 'so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight..."

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