Number Games

Good morning. It's Friday! My Halloween Party is tonight I suspected I would be more amped up than I am. To be honest it hasn't been the best week in history. Hopefully this evening will brush off this slump. I'm running on little sleep and some anxiety. Mixed emotions, letting go, hanging on, striving to get what I want, teetering on luck and the stars. Balance balance. This post is going to read extremely scattered and maybe even a bit somber. Apologies. It's just this time of year. Holidays+clouds and dark skies=restless heart. I'm going to spill my guts, for once. I may need a hug afterward.

Have I ever mentioned my overwhelming sense of numbers? I'm a counter. Always have been. I count myself to sleep. I count the stairs when I walk up them, every time, everyday. I suppose it may be a little "OCD" but I can't kick it. This year I've been hung up on the number two. It has changed my life. With the slide of a hand, reaching for that business card, my train shifted tracks. I can't say it's all bread and butter. It's not. I battle with "the two" and how I feel about it constantly. I wake up every morning and try to align my thoughts with bigger issues but I can't prevail. Ive written so many emails to myself. They're hoaky and a bit ridiculous but I feel like I should put them out here. I'm genuine, and crazy, and I strive to simplify, be an open book. In a sense, I want to be able to wear my heart on my sleeve. So here goes. I'm going to spill the beans. Here's an email I wrote myself this morning:

"Remember, that no matter what the outcome or the level of grief focus on the positive. He has vicariously provided freedom, insight and most important, the motivation to live your life the way you choose. Whether he chooses to be part of what you create or not it's crucial to remember that you wouldn't be where you are today without him. Just look, you are in the process of pursuing and art career. Getting out there. You don't need a weight/person to drag you down. You're an independent womyn. A strong willed, free spirited womyn! Void of a man and productive for the first time in a looong time. The hard thing to escape is that it took another man to put you in this state. You must not forget him for he is beautiful. Melancholy but beautiful. Mysterious but beautiful.

Don't think about it to much. Create something new each day. Eventually the attraction will fade and what's left shall exceed any material object. You will have confidence, a fresh perspective and hopefully a career driven by passion (art). Thank you, B. Thank you..." No regrets. No looking in the rear view. Weekend Wishes and Happy HALLOWEEN Xoxo!

South of the Border

There are many delights that derive from down south: amazing food, tan girls, and Latin music. While I could probably delve into an excessive post on each of these topics, there's only one that is pertinent at the moment: Latin music. Last night I was serenaded by the ever-so-clever, SoCal group, Los Lobos. The show exceeded my expectations by light years. It was well worth the ticket price and then some. I grew up on these guys, I'm honored that I had the chance to exchange a few words and shake their hands. The backup band was from Canada. Introducing the Duhks. They were very versatile in their repertoire and instrumentation. They did a very interesting cover of Led Zep's "Whole Lotta Love." Overall, Two thumbs. The headliner/climax. LOS LOBOS: I just can't get over how spectacular these guys are live. If you can catch them live I highly recommend it. After the show they were signing autographs in the lobby so we stuck around. I'm glad we did even though I'm not big on the whole 'celebrity' gig. I mean afterall, they are just people like you and I. Artist really.

I did get their signatures but I also left with an exciting story. You see the bassist (below, center)? Well he was the last in the line and when I handed him my CD he looked at me and started asking me where I was from and grabbed my hand. He was extremely inebriated to the point where he was not speaking English or Spanish. Afterward, my dad made the comment that the guy was coming on to me. He was, it was awkward. I stepped away and then when we got outside we all let out a belt of laughter. Good times. I saw my buddies, Doug and Barb. I look like I have self tanner on my face in this photo. Unholy. Doug took all of these photos. He had a press pass, now that's privlege. He managed to snap a shot of my parents. These photos are few and far between so I'm happy to have an updated version.

I'm going to emphasize once again, Los Lobos=Great Show. Check 'em out!

On Topic

I've been "socially busy" for weeks. I still manage to make it into my studio nearly everyday but my projects are slow to progress. Today I was working on Halloween decorations and I was still able to finish up a couple of pieces. I was inspired by my Sunday travels. Time on the road is invigorating. Take a look. Enjoy. I'm crossing my fingers that after the holidays I'll be able to spend ample amount of time building my portfolio. I'm getting better at balancing all aspects of my life and I'm thankful. I like to think it's all due to my wonderful time management skills but I have to say, it feels a bit like it's teetering on luck. If I drop off of the face of the earth don't worry. The planets have probably shifted and I've locked myself in my studio. Just knock.

Unbelievable

Yesterday I went to my spinning class and almost croaked. Really. It was initiation for me, the newbie. The lady that teaches the class was nice the first day but yesterday she definitely picked on me. Luckily, the guy next to me comforted me by telling me she did the same thing to him. Phew! For a minute I thought all those middle aged people were just trying to run off the "young, skinny girl." After the gym, I ran over to Barb and Doug's to drop off some things and they had a dinner guest. Meet Nick Lillard. Nick has been an acquaintance since my tenure at Hancock fabrics. I'm always surprised when I see him because he always recalls my distaste for purple. I think it's because he finds it incredibly disturbing that an artist can write off an entire color.Nick's an artist himself. He painted this helmet which is part of some crazy robot suit he has been working on for years. He's an incredible sculptor but quite humble. He has large scale pieces on one of the building facades at OU and a piece in front of one of Norman's elementary schools. Impressive. So what's unbelievable? Well, Last night I realized that Nick is my male counterpart. It's scary. Really scary. We're like two Aryan's in a pod. Get us in room together and in no time things are grotesquely perverse. It's pretty bad. Nick takes things above and beyond. To a point where even I'm embarrassed. I swore my ears would bleed. I'm telling you, save this picture. You won't see me make a face like this often. It takes quite a bit to make me cringe but last night I was completely taken aback. I also look pretty greasy but lucky for you, you didn't have to stand in the same room. I'm sure I was pretty ripe (the gym). See, Barb was also flabbergasted. Glasses were removed for safety. Nick will be attending the party Friday. If you don't think you can handle two 'Bills' I suggest bringing stronger beverages.

Birthday Wishes

To my fabulous mother! 49! Next year will be huge. Half a century, quite a feat. And to think, almost half of that was spent enduring countless hours around me. She deserves a gift just for that. Today we made a run to the city to have lunch with my aunt and cousin. I took the rest of the afternoon off to finish up some Halloween preparations. Odd, I know, but it's the greatest holiday of the year. I would trade Christmas for Halloween any day. On the way back from lunch we stopped by Byron's, the largest liquor store I've ever seen. It also has the best prices. If you are still weary about attending the party, think again. I'm prepared, guaranteed good time! In honor of my mom's b-day I had to snap a shot. Can you believe she's almost 50? I can't! She looks lovely and she's extremely creative and talented. She may be the only thing I wouldn't trade for Halloween. On a side note, the veil is part of my costume that arrived today. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not crazy enough to wear things like that around on a Tuesday. I just happened to be unloading my trunk.

Happy Birthday MOM!

Feeling Philisophical

I had a great weekend. It flew by and here it is, Monday. Back to routine and familiar faces. I think I'm destine to live the life of a gypsy. I spent some time on my beloved highway and felt like passing my exit on the way home. Through my travels I began to understand my mysterious affection for those gentle giants of the road (semi-trucks). Life on the road, freedom, travels. I know this is idealized but maybe that's the attraction?

I have an overwhelming list of 'things to do' this week. I decided to take a break and read my horoscope. It didn't help. Just added to my never-ending wave of thought.

"The average middle class person alive today has more goodies than the kings and queens of times past. In fact, even during this time of economic retrenchment, most of us have a higher standard of living than 99 percent of all the humans who've ever walked the planet. In pointing this out, I don't mean to discount the suffering of those who've lost their jobs and homes. But I think it's helpful to keep our collective deprivations in perspective.

Similarly, I like to remember that no matter how much our personal trials may test us, they are more bearable than, say, the tribulations of the generation that lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Keep this in mind, Sagittarius. As you wander in the limbo between the end of one chapter of your life story and the beginning of the next chapter, it'll really help to stay conscious of how blessed you are. Halloween costume suggestion: a saint tending to the needs of the dispossessed and underprivileged." -Rob Brezsny

I feel like a selfish bitch after reading my horoscope. I also woke up feeling like Pandora. And, I've had this song stuck in my head all day:

It's been such a strange day.

No Cooking

Today I'm traveling a distance for a special get together. I felt inclined to bring something edible but it would have to ride with me for about an hour and a half. And, it must be vegetarian. I suppose baking would be the safest bet but it seems like everyone is making sweets and I've almost reached my tolerance this season. I also require the most novice recipes as I'm lacking in ingredients as well as skills. After some internet trolling I resort to Martha, again. I went with Martha's guacamole and a white bean dip. I think mine look pretty damn close. Comparing taste is a different game. The white bean dip was a hit among taste testers but the guac, not so much. I will qualify, the taste testers weren't really fans of the glorious avocado. I guess if no one eats them, I'll remember it's the thoughts that count.

Winterizing

Spray painting is tough in the winter. I had an airbrush but I used it as a scape goat for some pent up aggression so I've been using the primitive spray can. Good thing the airbrush was a cheapy, Harbor Freight purchase. Since I'm working on my portfolio for graduate school I decided I need to invest in a real gun. I ordered the Paasche Talon Gravity airbrush. I haven't had a chance to try it out yet, perhaps tonight. Main reason for purchase? Made in the USA! Biggest bonus? Now I can paint inside. Exciting!

Friday Night Highlights

The ambitious plans for Friday night failed at the hands of poor planning and a margarita. We were suppose to turn our "Friday Night Duo" into a trio but that fell through. One would think with all the various modes of communication these days things would run smoothly, but apparently not. I guess two really is my lucky number in 2009. Taraneh was a little blue over the situation but my 'stone cold bitch' remains intact. I indulged, I'm not even going to hide it. I made T take photos so I could remember our outing. Classic Sara Sara Cupcake photo. I was feeling tame last night, just vanilla with festive pumpkin and orange sprinkles. [Please vote for Sara Sara Cupcakes here.] Post heavy margarita at our favorite CD store in OKC. A HUGE CD Warehouse. This photo makes me laugh. All those colors and patterns, that huge bag, goofy hat and the toilet, I look like a homeless woman. Ha! The electronic section and me debating whether I'm capable of driving and if I really 'need' the Avalanche's CD. Again, What have I become? It was fun and we both survived.

This afternoon I went to my grandparents to celebrate my moms birthday. There was lots of delicious food and plenty left over. My grandma sent me home with cake, rice crispy treats and a candied apple. My family likes sweets. After a brief siesta, I'm up, blogging and about to go spray paint. Halloween is close ahead and there is much to do. It's to bad I'm so tired/busy to partake in Ghouls Gone Wild this evening. I suppose there's always next year. Off to work!

The End

It's Friday, YippeE! Big plans this evening. There probably won't be enough time to fulfill them all but it shall be a noble attempt.Photos of aforementioned, weekend adventures to follow, stay tuned. For now, feast on this and save the date! Weekend Wishes!

Bikes 'n Bees

I am now the proud parent of a road bike. Noting like the open road and a multitude of gears at your fingertips! I just wish the weather were nicer.This bike cost nothing. It was a hand-me-down, can't go wrong! It needs some new tubes 'n tires. The paint job is not attractive. I'm already thinking about possible paint schemes. For example: It's meant to resemble a bumble bee but, I'm afraid it also feels a bit like a taxi cab. I can't decide if I like it or not. I guess I could always paint over it if it turns out hideous? It can't get much worse than purple/fuchsia. I do like the bee symbol which would be the head badge. And, it matches my tattoos, very personal. Oh, tattoos! What!?! Did I just say that? I don't have tattoos [insert evil smirk].

So, any input?

Trickle Down

This song has traveled from hand to hand to make it to my ears. It's a very vivid mix. I like to think this is what my art sounds like:

Thanks to those who share!

Whitewash, Stencils and Antigone

Yawn. Long day. I feel so scattered. I have so many things occurring, or trying to occur, at once. List everywhere but I still can't pull it together. Damn. Yawn. Obviously, I don't need to write this evening. I'll just give you a peek at what I've been doing. I have been up to a few things, finished little. I'm on a strict, gym regiment. It's fun, I like the burn but it hinders my studio time. If only I didn't have to spend forty hours at a j-o-b... I know I have plugged ArtBeat several times but here I go again. I won these tickets from them through facebook! There publication is outstanding. Pick it up around the metro, see you at the hotspots. I think I'll try to catch the production this Saturday. This is a work in progress. Remember the heart stamp? Well it's been put to good use, it was a hard worker. I stared at this painting for awhile before I decided to whitewash it. I've been on a whitewash kick for various reasons. Specifically, because it's used in street art. We have all seen those advertisements that have been painted over and then cover with lovely graffiti. That's the idea. Anway, keep an eye out, I have high hopes for this egg.Another work in progress. These are very layered pieces, physically and conceptually. I'll go more in depth when they are completed. They still need 2 more stencils and perhaps a secret, special touch. I have an idea of where I want to take them but I have to uphold my new mantra, "less is more." Instead of piling it all into one piece, I've learned things run smoother when I spread it out among several pieces. Fingers crossed that I can maintain this progress. Off to bed. G'Night!

More Costumes

I have three costumes to deal with this Halloween. One for work, the mac. One for the "Broomstick Bitches" party and one for trick-or-treating. Yes, I am trick-or-treating. I'm going as a ghost. Simple yet affective. No one will suspect I'm 23. Chocolatey candy laced with needles and drugs here I come! I've had plenty of ideas for my party attire but they have all fallen through. Too ambitious for such a minimal duration. Last Friday, after oogling Martha's Halloween issue, I decide on my costume. Runaway bride packin' some heavy metal. This is going to work. I was inspired by Martha's "Gray Lady" costume. They stenciled lace onto the models face using white paint and a doily. I'm all over it. I had to think of a costume that would allow me utilize this technique. If you can't visualize check out the magazine. I failed at finding a photo online. My mom still has her wedding dress so she brought it over last weekend so I could try it. Turns out, I'm not 98lbs. No way I was squeezing into that beauty. Luckily, we had my aunts and it fits like a glove. I used it in high school for medieval play so I had to remove a bunch of regalia I had sewn on for that. Now it needs a bath. I wish I could have fit into my mom's dress, I like it much better but I can't complain, there's no expense. I will have to buy a gun and a garter and find some way to pin up side of the dress. I'm going to wear the gun on my thigh...hotness? It's going to be great. I'm super excited. I'm trying to drum up some enthusiasm, I want to see all of my loyal readers at my Halloween Extravaganza! The dress doesn't look like much but I think with a veil and some leg it will be a hit! It's definitely a change for me. I usually go as a character but the only corporate/mass media influence I had this year was Martha. I don't think that really counts. It's not really possible to avoid Martha's influence when planning the best Halloween ever, is it?

Progress

I was finally able to begin decorating for Halloween. Thanks to my mom and my brother's girlfriend, Flea, we were able to finish the front yard. I'm lacking in extension cords so I'm not able to light it up after dark. Hopefully this week I'll buy some cords and take some photos of it in all its glory. I hope you're looking forward to it, I know I am! I'm the slave driver. Whip and camera in hand. They invade everything. And live off of human flesh and blood. Notice the mothership? Stay tuned for in depth photos. The epitome of creepy appears at night. Beware!

The Shame

Last night was great. I went over to the Hills to eat some frito chili pie. It was the best frito chili pie I have ever tasted. It may very well be the best FC pie ever made and maybe even the largest. Just look: There were tons of ingredients which comprised the homemade chili. I was told one of the most important was the unsweetned bakers chocolate. Just roll with it because this dish was absolutely delectable. My contribution was a bottle of Rodney Strong,Sauvignon blanc(My fave). After a couple of glass I also provided some rather "questionable" entertainment. It began fairly innocent, Just some talk of crafts and Martha Stewart. There may have been some evil plotting but we will burn the evidence later. An excuse to party, again. At this point Doug and I had pretty much polished off the bottle. This was the only thing left I could do. I was trying to see if I could persuade it to make some more sweet nectar. After all, the liquor stores close at 9pm. Sad. Taraneh playing coy. As if she has never been exposed to such lude behavior. Ok. Well, maybe I understand. This is pretty indecent. Apologies. It's all Rodney's fault.She did laugh a little but there was hesitation. Just look at that complexion! Here we were a pretty settled. I was ready to hit the hay with my borrowed copy of "Martha Stewart Living." What has my blog become? What have I become? Oh the memories!

Friday Night

So, 13 days until Halloween (12 until THE Party!). I'm getting anxious. I have also been very preoccupied with other commitments and now I'm overwhelmed. I'm sure my last few post reflect my absent mindedness as well as my lack of enthusiasm. I apologize to my few, yet loyal, readers. I'm busy living, but sooner than later I will have something to show for time well spent. I'm a little lack luster this week so it's probably better I make brief post. The sun poked its nose out this afternoon which was a relief. I got to sit face to face with my star after I managed to slink out of the office while no one was watching.

Tonight Taraneh and I went and threw some ideas back and forth at the bookstore. She was quite productive, coming close to finishing a poem she has been working on for awhile. I, on the other hand persisted with the Halloween plans. I picked up Martha's Hallo Mag (It's tremendous!) and stared at its glorious contents until my eyeballs glazed over. It was within these pages that I developed the party's "grand finale!" It's a spin on the pinata minus sticks because inebriated people could get hurt. Doughnuts on a string! I decided to do a quick sketch of my version: Here you see the two 'broomstick bitches' (the hostesses) moving the string up and down to make the game more challenging. A lady in the bookstore over heard our planning and gave me the idea of incorporating hot dogs on the string with the doughnuts. Sweet and savory plus there's a little male/female innuendo. I don't know if photos could do this finale justice. We may have to find someone with a video camera. Are you guys stoked about the party, or what?

Soundtrack

Track for Friday, October 16th, 2009.
"Grace" by Filmosound. Enjoy. More to come...

How Inconsiderate

...of me to speak of my wondrous artist statement and not share. First things first, Thank you Thank you, Doug Hill for helping me with editing! For he's a jolly good fella!

He also took this marvelous photo of me playing make-up with the mini compact. I had to throw this photo in for visual purposes. I'm not a fan of post with no photos. I love pretty pictures. Check out the statement, enjoy. Feedback welcome.Artist Statement de Bellagio

My work centers on identity and personal experience. Not a day goes by that I don’t recall my past. These recollections include often seemingly menial events such as the exchange of greetings between strangers or a memorable face from around town. Our identity can be shaped not only by monumental events but also small details. These minutia that may be forgettable for some or significant milestones in my life both have an equal tendency for triggering an entire series.

The bulk of my work is shaped by a wanderlust nature and the resulting journeys. I relish moving outside my comfort zones and documenting reactions to the unaccustomed. Through these studies I’ve found that I’m drawn to balancing masculine and feminine facets of my personality. I am attracted to “feminine arts” such as sewing, crafts, textiles, decorating and home making. Equally I live for muscle cars, carbureted engines, semi-trucks and the highway. Since both sides lend definition, I often incorporate masculine and feminine themes within my work.

Textiles and patterns play an important role both visually and conceptually. I also incorporate painting and printmaking to balance art and craft elements. Often crafts such as sewing, embroidery and textiles depict a feminine quality while more hard-edged spray painting or printmaking, add raw masculine sensibility. Pop icons and symbols along with exaggeration also play a large role. They express particular views of my environment and personal experiences. Comprehensively I seek to portray the impact of our environment and its effect on cultural and personal identity.